I was giving water to my sister. She wants me to give it to her. I got mad at shouted at her. My mom heard me. She went to me, spank me on the face, pulled my hair and threw water at me. These are the exact words she told me..
Wala kang kwentang anak
Wala kang kwentang kapatid
Wala kang kwentang tao
Putang ina mo
Hayop ka
Engrata ka
Makapal muka mo
Mamatay ka na
How do you think I should feel about that? Your own mother told you those words. I wanna commit suicide last night. She told me : Mamatay ka na.. I want to answer back and say.. Sure, why not. I'll obey you. You're my mom so therefore I should do what you want me to.
The problem with her is that she never gives me the chance to explain and defend myself. SHe doesn't trust me. She soesn't believe in me. SHe doesn't care for what I will feel. Sometimes, when I'm praying, I ask God to just get my life back. I wanna die. No one cares for me. No one loves me.
Our 21 thingy was cancelled because of this problem of mine. Fuck! I was suppose to be the one who will be encharged of our transpo.. But because of this BIG BIG conflict of my mom and I, i can't go anymore. Hell ya, I wanna go but.. arrghh.. I can't stop my tears.
Arggghhhhhhhhh...
Fuck shet..
Wish my dad was here instead of my mom. Hope she's just the one in states..
Or I guess, I'll just hope that I didn't exist in this goddamned world..
Can't do anything.. Accept what God has bestowed upon me..
hmmmmm.. Shot, cha +
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